Since posting about nostalgia and reunions, strangely enough I’ve been contacted by two people I used to know.
The first was the boyfriend of my Canadian ex-flatmate who I got along with very well but the friendship waned when the Canadian split from him on her return home. He contacted me through Friends Reunited and is still living in the area, actually only a matter of streets away from where I live now. This contact was unexpected but a pleasant surprise and we are going to meet up for drinks just as soon as we can find a date we can both do.
The second was a very good friend from university who I lost touch with when she moved away from London. To be honest, I think this was my fault. Her life in London always seemed so much better than mine and then when she moved away, from the occasional updates I received, everything just seemed to fall into place so easily for her. I on the other hand, never felt I had anything much positive or interesting to say in response. I realise now that this was pretty stupid as it was a friendship, not a competition.
Anyway, the renewed contact at first came via Facebook. I’m still not sure about Facebook – I’m on there but only because I thought it would be rude to ignore a friends request from someone I am actually good friends with and then another person who is off travelling added me as their friend and I thought it might be a good way of keeping in touch with her. I’ve not done anything else on there – I’m not proactively poking people (as I believe it is known - I'm too much of a prude!).
But I responded to her adding me as a friend and then within a day, a proper message arrived from her. I haven’t replied yet. I’m still thinking about what to say. This is what often happens - I procrastinate for so long, that it either then seems pointless replying or they've lost interest.
I don’t really feel I’ve actually done anything worth mentioning since I last saw her. Perhaps I should just send her a link to this blog so she can read for herself!
3 comments:
To be honest I don't like any of these sites - horribly reminiscent of school and cliques etc and I'm way too shy but also I'm sure sure I want to make contact with someone I was at school with aged 5 and haven't seen since.
I'm also a bit wary of how people seem to want to endlessly update their online profile for people, who they didn't like and talk to at school!
And to make it worse I only seem to get contacted by people, I actually tried quite hard to lose touch with...
If you send her a link to your blog, maybe you should remove this post first. :)
You mentioned it being a friendship, not a competition. But perhaps she waged the competition by continuous reporting on her 'perfect' life.
I have a 'friend' like that. Everything in her life is neat and tidy (according to her). Butyou just know it's not. It couldn't possibly be.
I find that people who won't show others their vulnerabilities are insecure and not terribly accessible as a friend. Somehow, there's a lack of real warmth there, like cardboard.
NM - I agree - usually you've lost contact with someone for a good reason and there is no going back.
M - in this case, I think the insecurity is on my side and she is actually a pretty warm person, but I think infrequent communication by email is what makes it feel this way as it is often stilted.
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