Friday, March 16, 2007

What have we done?

I feel drained and deflated. Not how I hoped I would feel.

The flat looked awful empty and its going to take a lot more decorating than we originally thought. After all of the hassle, it was an anticlimax - its not my dream home, its just a small two bedroom flat, all we could afford in west London. I've been awake all night worrying that we've made a huge mistake.

I don't think we'll be having a housewarming party or inviting anyone to stay because although it was the best place we looked at by a mile, it really isn't anything to be proud of and it will give certain people further cause for looking down their noses at us or worse the patronising as the 'poor relation' of the friends who've got rich partners & no idea of what it is like to have to work for anything.

And on top of this, the thought that this was my Dad's legacy. All of his life for so little.

7 comments:

prettyinpink said...

Sorry you feel so down about your new place sanddancer, moving is always very traumatic (second only to a divorce apparently) and can stir up lots of strange feelings. Try not to think about it until you are unpacked and settled and then you will start to feel more 'at home'. Just think og it this way, if you don't like anythign about this palce you can change it, it's YOUR flat and you can paint all the walls orange if you want!

Miss Forthright said...

You really musn't be so negative just yet- moving home is stressful. Remember that it won't feel like home because it's so bare, but you can make it your own anyway you like, and once everything is unpacked and it's more personal you will feel better, trust me.
It doesn't matter how big it is or anything, the fact is that you've made a good investment in yourself and you have a home now which you can truly call your own.

M said...

To have a flat in West London, regardless of the size, would be so fabulous!

northern monkey said...

Moving house is just so stressful and emotional, exhausting and draining, and bare and empty rooms just add to the whole emotional-ness of it all. I think buying in London just magnifies it all when you think about the cost but once you have your things in there adn are decorating it'll start to feel like home.

And as everyone else said your dad would be proud of you, making that commitment, finding somewhere in London to buy and (I'm so showing my age by writing this) doing something sensible with the money - an investment for the future!

Who cares what everyone else thinks - it's all yours! Enjoy it - you deserve it! Now go and have some champagne...Congratulations!

Suz said...

It is something to be proud off! YOu've worked hard for it, and you'll make it your home. I think you should have a few people over - it makes it feel much more like hom, honestly. Moving house is scary, but give it a chance :-)

Roses said...

Oh honey. Many virtual hugs. As everyone else has said, it's not surprising you feel like this, it's been stressful and moving is just pants.

Have a glass of wine, a hug from your OH and unpack. Homes are made from memories, far more than posh decorating and spanking new kitchens. You know your dad would be proud of how well you're using the fruits of his hard work. We all have to start somewhere.

This is the place you felt most comfortable. You have nothing to apologise to anyone. Take a deep breath, light up a few candles, invite your friends around to start making some great memories.

SandDancer said...

Thank you everyone for your kind words. It means alot.

I'm feeling a bit better. It was a shock because we really didn't think it would need much doing to it but the decorating is going to be a bigger job than we thought (not just throwing a bit of paint on the walls) and the previous owner left things in rather a mess (garden and shed full of her rubbish) which was making it all look terrible.