Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Number WIthheld

My mobile rang this afternoon. A withheld number. I don’t normally bother to answer these as its usually someone trying to sell me a new phone. But as I’m expecting calls from the Estate Agent and my solicitor, I make an exception and answer it.

‘Hello is that Miss Sanddancer?’ (obviously though she used my real name
‘Excellent. Good to have got hold of you. I’m calling from Studio 64 (I think this is what she said). You’ve applied via our website to come in for a free photshoot, so when are you free come in?
‘A photoshoot in our studio. You applied through Crap Offers R Us website’ she says brightly in her best telesales voice (again that may not have been the exact name, but it was something along those lines’
‘I certainly haven’t’

And with that I hung up and had to explain to the people around me what it was all about.

If she could have been me sat her in my best woolly jumper, she would not have been offering me a photograph of myself, even if it is one of those rip-off services where they give you a makeover by covering you in an inch of orange foundation, coiffure your hair to death and then take pictures with a Vaseline smeared lens so that you come out in soft-focus, looking perhaps more attractive but essentially nothing like yourself.

I’ve seen the results of these sessions before – a few friends were conned into them. They were then pressurised into spending £120 on the resulting photograph, which in which even one my friend’s mother’s failed to recognise her daughter.


Polly said...

I used to work with a girl who 'won' one of these. She was only 18 and I tried to warn her. She thought she had been chosen because of her looks and got really upset with me for advising her against and then spent hundreds of misty photos of her looking about 45 yrs old in an off the shoulder pink fluffy jumper. Shocking.

Polly said...

sorry, that meant to say spent hundreds ON misty photos!

SandDancer said...

Yes, the people I know who had it done were all put in off the shoulder things. Quite vile.

The best photographs are always of people looking natural and enjoying themselves anyway, not some over-stylised conveyor belt notion of glamour.