What am I talking about? People playing their music loudly through their phones on the bus, that's what.
Last night for example. There I was listening to my ipod at a normal level so nobody but myself could hear it, but once on the bus I had to turn it right up to drown out the sound of some tinny shitty r'n'b being played at volume through some inconsiderate moron's phone. I was listening to 'Everybody Here Wants You' by Jeff Buckley, a song of sublime beauty, of swooning melodies, of lyrical subtlety. And it was competiting in my earlobe with some distorted clanging grunting noise that I suppose was ostensibly about the same thing, except in that one the singer showed his appreciation for the 'hotness' of the woman by wanting to take her roughly right now. Simply enchanting.
In my fantasy, I will stand up and tell them in no uncertain terms to turn it down, they'll snarl and be abusive of course, but then everyone else on the bus will applaud me and we'll all unite against the noise polluters. Or in an alternative version, I'll travel London with a sack of cheap earphones, dispensing them to the offenders like some sort of music police Santa Claus and I'll become legendary.
Of course, in reality none of those things will happen. If I do say something, I'll probably get stabbed and my fellow passengers will ignore it, or (more likely still) I'll continue to suffer it in silence.