A Song for Every Occasion

This morning I could hear our neighbour playing Underworld’s ‘Born Slippy’ and shouting “Lager, Lager, Lager”. It was 8.30am. Too early for Underworld in my opinion although it was a vast improvement on their usual choice of music – soulless R&B or what sounded like the euro-pop nightmare that is ‘Dr Jones’ by Aqua.

From the occasional times I’ve been able to hear their music, the neighbours, like many young people, seem to suffer from the modern musical malady of only listening to the sort of music played in clubs, regardless of the time of day or occasion. This niggles me – perhaps I have an unusually wide-taste in music, but really I do think there is a time and place for certain types of music, and there is really no need to be listening to the same tunes you were bumping n grinding to in Harrow’s finest meat market the morning after the night before.

Back in my youth when my suitors were the type to spend evenings at raves (how strange this sounds now!), they at least used to listen to something else when they got home. The nosebleed techno was reserved for the night out, replaced at home by the Orb, Pink Floyd, Stone Roses etc. So it can be done – there is a song for every occasion.

The Morning After the Night Before – you really need to bring it down a notch, but it doesn’t have to be one of those awful chill-out compilations or something featuring panpipes.
Recommendations: Most of ‘Screamadelica’ (skip Loaded and Movin’ on Up though at this point), Chemical Brothers songs featuring Beth Orton especially Alive Alone. ‘Some Velvet Morning’ by Lee Hazlewood and Nancy Sinatra, ‘Sugar Man’ either the original Sixto Rodriguez version or the Free Association cover.


Weddings – Whilst you don’t want to just let the DJ play any old rubbish, you should consider your guests and the mix of generations there is likely to be – so don’t just play the latest indie rock noise. I know from experience that Weekender by Flowered Up is not a suitable song for a wedding, even if the grandparents don’t realise what it is about, there are swearwords in there.
Recommendations: Anything on the Motown or Stax labels is good. Mothers-of-the brides love a bit of Marvin Gaye. Any 1960s stuff really – the Monkees especially. You’re on pretty safe ground with The Beatles, although I’d avoid Tomorrow Never Knows (too experimental) & Helter Skelter (the song that inspired the Manson Murders is probably not the mood you want)




Hairdressing Salons – my former hairdressers always had MTV on or worse MTV Bass. Awful. I don’t want to listen to this sort of music while I’m having my haircut. Having your haircut is just about as far away from clubbing as you can get, so why the banging music?Recommendations: Actually I’ve come a bit unstuck with this one as I can't really think what is the best music for having a trim to, without resorting to weak puns like songs by the Cutting Crew or Haircut 100. Perhaps silence is the best thing or maybe something classical? Any suggestions?